the march badness tournament field

Paul Anka with Odia Coates, You’re Having My Baby

Beach Boys, Kokomo

Chuck Berry, My Ding a Ling

Debby Boone, You Light Up My Life

Jimmy Buffett, Margaritaville

Captain & Tennille, Muskrat Love

Carpenters, Top of the World

Eric Clapton, I Shot the Sherriff

Clarence Carter, Patches

Charlene, I’ve Never Been to Me

Cher, Half-Breed

Phil Collins, Another Day in Paradise

Christopher Cross, Sailing

Culture Club, Karma Chameleon

Michael Damian, Rock On

Sammy Davis Jr, Candy Man

Chris de Burgh, Lady in Red

Rick Dees and his Cast of Idiots, Disco Duck,

Doobie Brothers, Real Love

Duran Duran, Union of the Snake

Eagles, Hotel California

Sheena Easton, Morning Train (9 to 5)

Falco, Rock Me Amadeus

Freddy Fender, Before the Next Teardrop Falls

Foreigner, Hot Blooded

Kenny G, Songbird

Debbie Gibson, Shake Your Love

Norman Greenbaum, Spirit in the Sky

Hall and Oates, Method of Modern Love 

Jeff Healey Band, Angel Eyes

Rupert Holmes, Escape (The Piña Colada Song)

Terry Jacks, Seasons in the Sun

Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney, The Girl Is Mine

Don Johnson, Heartbeat

Billy Joel, We Didn’t Start the Fire

Tom Jones, She’s a Lady

Huey Lewis and the News, Hip to Be Square

Kenny Loggins, Footloose

Barry Manilow, I Write the Songs

Chuck Mangione, Feels So Good

Martika, Toy Soldiers

CW McCall, Convoy

Steve Miller Band, Abracadabra

Milli Vanilli, Don’t Forget My Number

Kylie Minogue, The Loco-motion

Eddie Murphy, Party All the Time

NKOTB, Hangin’ Tough

Billy Ocean, Loverboy

Gerry Rafferty, Baker Street

Helen Reddy, I Am Woman

Lionel Richie, Say You Say Me

Minnie Riperton, Loving You

David Lee Roth, California Girls

Starland Vocal Band, Afternoon Delight

Starship, Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Starship, We Built this City

Steely Dan, Rikki Don’t Lose that Number

Rod Stewart, Tonight’s the Night

Styx, Mr. Roboto

Donna Summer, MacArthur Park

Survivor, The Search is Over

Three Dog Night, Joy to the World

Toto, Africa

Gary Wright, Dream Weaver

the methodology

The Official March Badness Selection Committee assembled 128 songs that met Badness criteria (inclusions must have hit the top 5 of the Billboard Hot 100, 1970-1989, and must be songs that are bad along multiple axes of badness; we also included some songs that are generally considered to be bad or appear on many Bad lists even though we thought they were good). We did a lottery for the 64 spots in the tournament, and writers whose numbers were drawn got to select their choice of song off the 128-deep long list. Only the 64 songs selected will be in the tournament.

however, there are a lot of bad songs below

So we’d love to publish essays by anyone interested in writing about one of them (whether or not you think it’s a bad song, whatever that means to you), to publish on the website pre-tournament. Or pitch us something on a song not on our short- or long-list, or on some aspect of badness in general. Hit us up at marchxness—at—thediagram.com or on twitter.

Air Supply, Sweet Dreams

Bad English, When I See You Smile

Edward Bear, The Last Song

Bread, Baby I’m A Want You 

Bread, If

Chicago, You’re the Inspiration

The Commodores, Three Times a Lady

Mac Davis, Baby Don’t Get Hooked on Me

El DeBarge, Who’s Johnny

DeFranco Family, Heartbeat—It’s a Lovebeat

Teri Desario with KC, Yes I’m Ready

Neil Diamond, Heartlight

Neil Diamond, Love on the Rocks

Carl Douglas, Kung Fu Fighting

Dr. Hook, Sylvia’s Mother

Duran Duran, The Reflex

Exile, Kiss You All Over

Dan Fogelberg, Longer

Samantha Fox, Touch Me (I Want Your Body)

David Geddes, Run Joey Run

Grand Funk Railroad, Some Kind of Wonderful

George Harrison, Got My Mind Set on You

Clint Holmes, Playground In My Mind

Elton John, Island Girl 

Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam, All Cried Out

Little River Band, Reminiscing

KC and the Sunshine Band, Please Don’t Go

Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks, Whenever I Call You “Friend”

Mary MacGregor, Torn Between Two Lovers

Madonna, La Isla Bonita

Madonna, True Blue

Richard Marx, Satisfied

Peter McCann, Do You Wanna Make Love

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, Ebony & Ivory (we’ll have an essay on this one forthcoming)

Maureen McGovern, The Morning After

Sister Janet Mead, The Lord’s Prayer

Sergio Mendes, Never Gonna Let You Go

Bette Midler, The Wind Beneath My Wings

Maria Muldaur, Midnight at the Oasis

Walter Murphy, A Fifth of Beethoven

Oak Ridge Boys, Elvira

Olivia Newton-John, Have You Never Been Mellow

Tony Orlando, Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree

The Osmonds, Yo-Yo

Alan O’Day, Undercover Angel

Eddie Rabbitt, I Love a Rainy Night

Roger, I Want To Be Your Man 

Kenny Rogers, Lady

Ringo Starr, You’re Sixteen

Neil Sedaka, Bad Blood

Neil Sedaka, Laughter in the Rain

Sheriff, When I’m With You

Silver Convention, Get Up and Boogie

Phoebe Snow, Poetry Man

Starbuck, Moonlight Feels Right

Ray Stevens, The Streak (we’ll have an essay on this one forthcoming)

Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond, You Don’t Bring Me Flowers

Johnny Taylor, Disco Lady

Tiffany, Could’ve Been

Wang Chung, Everybody Have Fun Tonight

Will to Power, Baby I Love Your Way (Freebird Medley)

Bruce Willis, Respect Yourself



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